Day 1 Drama
CHARACTERS: DALTON CLYDE, NETTIE ZELMA, MARSHAL, REVEREND, VERA
Scene opens in the town of Wonder Junction. DALTON CLYDE and NETTIE ZELMA sprint onto the stage. 
DALTON CLYDE:  Ooooh-weee! What a big score, Nettie Zelma. I can’t believe those kids let me steal all their candy!
NETTIE ZELMA: Quit that, Dalton Clyde! We’re professional thieves. We don’t steal candy from no babies. We rob unsuspectin’ citizens, the occasional stagecoach, and one day—wealthy banks. Now, give it back before you make a scene!
DALTON CLYDE: (frowns while revealing a shirtful of candy) No need for bein’ rude. I may be your younger brother, but that ain’t no way to treat family (tosses the shirtful of candy into the audience). There. You happy? It’s all gone . . . and now there ain’t gonna be no snacks for our travels.
NETTIE ZELMA:Naw, Dalton Clyde, don’t worry. We ain’t leavin’ jus’ yet. This here is Wonder Junction. And it looks to me like they got a bank prime for the pickin’!Oh, goodness gracious! 
DALTON CLYDE: What’s wrong? (joins her, looking at the poster) Who’s that?
NETTIE ZELMA:Whadaya mean, “Who’s that?” It’s you and me, silly!
DALTON CLYDE:On a Wanted poster? Oh, don’t be ridiculous! It is not!
NETTIE ZELMA:It is so! See yer birth mark?DALTON CLyde: Well, I’ll be . . . NETTIE ZELMA:It’s an old picture, that’s all. 
DALTON CLYDE: Hey . . . maybe that’s a good thing, Nettie Zelma! We won’t be so easily recognized!  
NETTIE ZELMA: I s’ppose yer right.But they’re still callin’ us the Bumblin’ Bandits! They think we’re a joke!
DALTON CLYDE: Well, ya gotta admit, we ain’t the sharpest knives in the drawer!NETTIE ZELMA: Yeah, well, I’m sick and tired of it! And that’s why we need to rob this here bank. We gotta earn us a more respectable reputation!
DALTON CLYDE: And ya think robbin’ a bank’ll do it?
NETTIE ZELMA: Sure do. Then maybe we’ll have us a proper name like the Dangerous Duo, or the Awful Outlaws!
DALTON CLYDE:  Hmm . . . I think the Ugly and Stinky Outlaws” is more like it! 
NETTIE ZELMA:  Speak for yerself, Dalton Clyde! 
MARSHAL:  Hello there! You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find the mayor, would you? Or any other official I could speak to?
DALTON CLYDE:  It’s an officer of the law!
NETTIE ZELMA:  Why, I wouldn’t . . . you know, that’s such a . . . I . . . I don’t . . . 
NETTIE ZELMA:  Talk to him! He looks official! 
MARSHAL:Uh, excuse me, sir. Can I speak with you for a minute?
REVEREND:Oh . . . sure! You here for the jamboree? I’m Reverend Halbrook, by the way.So, what do you need? A tour around town? A pipin’ hot meal? Mrs. McKee’s chicken-fried steak is so good, it’ll rattle your ears!
MARSHAL: No thanks, Reverend . . . I’m Marshal Metcalf, and I’m here on official business. 
REVEREND: Oh, sounds serious.
MARSHAL: It’s because I know you’re without a sheriff right now. Anyway, I’m after some criminals who might be hiding out here in Wonder Junction.
REVEREND: Criminals? Here? My goodness! Whatever makes you think that?
MARSHAL: ’Cuz I tracked ’em here! They’re known as the Bumblin’ Bandits. They robbed the bank in Golden City last week!
REVEREND: Robbed the bank, did they? Oh, my . . . Oh, my!
MARSHAL: I know! And your bank might be next if we don’t act quickly!
REVEREND:  Well, Marshal, right now I think that’s the least of our worries!
MARSHAL: What? Nonsense! We should be treatin’ ’em as highly dangerous and unstable individuals!  What on earth are you doin’, Reverend?
REVEREND:  Well, you see, my daughter, Vera, is a bit of a—how should I say it? A self-taught critter-wrangler.
MARSHAL: An admirable profession.
REVEREND: It’s more of a hobby, actually. And perhaps one she’s not very good at.
MARSHAL: Why do you say that?
REVEREND: Long story short, she asked me to transport a critter in this here crate , but he’s not here anymore. I suspect she forgot to lock the cage door!
MARSHAL: Oh! Here, let me help you look for it.  So, what kinda critter are we lookin’ for?
REVEREND: A snake.
MARSHAL:  Wait. Did you say, “snake”?
REVEREND: Sure did!
MARSHAL: Uh . . . what kinda snake?
REVEREND: A rattler.
MARSHAL:  Rattlesnake, huh? 
REVEREND: Yep. Get too close, he’ll let you know. But we’ve gotta catch him alive. Vera will be a mess if I bring him home in pieces.
MARSHAL:  Yes, well . . . I’m sorry, Reverend, but hunting for poisonous snakes is a bit above my paygrade.  Good day!
REVEREND:Hmm. Well, Buford, looks like it’s just you and me! You can’t stay hidden forever!
NETTIE ZELMA:Is he gone?
DALTON CLYDE:Is who gone?
NETTIE ZELMA:The marshal! Who else would we be hidin’ from?
DALTON CLYDE: Oh . . . right NETTIE ZELMA:And remember what I told ya. Don’t, under any circumstances, tell anyone our real names!

DALTON CLYDE: Hey, maybe we should—NETTIE ZELMA:Hush up, Dalton Clyde! Act normal!
REVEREND: My word. Where has Buford gone off to? Vera’s gonna have a conniption if he doesn’t turn up soon.  Oh! More new faces. You here for the jamboree?
NETTIE ZELMA: Uh . . . no, sir. We’re jus’ passin’ through. 
REVEREND: Oh, well, you might want to stick around a little longer! The annual harvest jamboree is in a couple days with all sorts of fun and festivities. Folks from the surrounding towns have been flocking in all week!
NETTIE ZELMA:  Festivities? People from the surrounding towns? Then there’ll be lots of buyin’ and sellin’ going on? 
REVEREND: You better believe it! People will be selling food, handmade goods, and holding contests for fun. It’ll be a grand old time!
NETTIE ZELMA: Hmm . . . and then the bank’ll be chock full of all that extra cash? Maybe we should stick around for a while an’ see what this jamboree is all about! Thanks fer the tip, mister!
REVEREND: Oh, goodness, apologies for my manners! I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Reverend Halbrook, at your service.
DALTON CLYDE:  Wow! We never met no reverend before. 
REVEREND: Really? Then I’m happy to be the first one! And who might you be? 
DALTON CLYDE: Oh uh, I’m Dalton Clyde, and this here’s my sister, Nettie Zelma! 
DALTON CLYDE:  Oww! 
REVEREND: I’m pleased to meet you. 
NEttie zelma:  So, I s’ppose we need a place to stay now that we ain’t just passin’ through no more. Can ya point us in the direction of the nearest hotel?
REVEREND: Well, I could, but it wouldn’t do you any good. I just heard that all the rooms are booked for the rest of the week . . . on account of the jamboree.
VERA: They can stay in the barn!
REVEREND: What?
VERA: The barn. It’s dry and clean . . . well . . . it’s dry, at least. It sure beats sleepin’ out in the cold night air!
REVEREND: This is my daughter, Vera.  Honey, this is Dalton Clyde and his sister, Nettie Zelma.
DALTON CLYDE: Howdy, ma’am.
VERA: Nice to meet you both.  Well, Pa? What about the barn?
REVEREND: It’s okay with me.
VERA: Good! Then it’s settled! 
DALTON CLYDE: That’s awful kind of ya, Reverend. And how much would you be chargin’ us for a couple nights’ stay?
REVEREND: No charge. It’s on the house. 
DALTON CLYDE: Really?
REVEREND: Well . . . save for a few chores you could help me out with.  
NETTIE ZELMA:  Chores?
REVEREND: Oh, nothing major, just—
VERA: Hey, let’s not talk about that right now. How about a glass of lemonade?DALTON CLYDE:  I won’t say no to that!
VERA:  You know this situation kinda reminds me of Mary and Joseph. The guest room wasn’t big enough, so they had to stay in the area where the animals slept. 
DALTON CLYDE: Oh, so you done this before?
VERA:Done what before?
DALTON CLYDE:Had folks stay in yer barn.
VERA:  Uh, no. This is the first time.
REVEREND: She was talking about Christmas. You know . . . when Jesus was born?
DALTON CLYDE: Oh.  
REVEREND: Friend, are you not familiar with the birth of Jesus?
DALTON CLYDE: Nettie Zelma, are we familiar with the birth of Jesus?
NETTIE ZELMA: No, we’re not.
DALTON CLYDE: No, Reverend, we’re not.
REVEREND: Well then, we’ve got lots to talk about!
REVEREND: So, where should we start? At the beginning, I reckon. You see, when God created the universe, everything was good. Nothing bad ever happened. Then the first people disobeyed, which brought a curse on the world. But God had a plan to fix it because he loved the world so much. And that plan was to send a Savior who could pay the penalty for all the wrongs we’ve done.
VERA: And that Savior is Jesus, the eternal Son of God and Creator of the universe!
DALTON CLYDE: Wait. You mean God sent himself?
REVEREND: In a way, yes. You see, God is a Trinity—one God existing as Father, Son, and Spirit. So God the Son stepped into history to take on human flesh as a man. 
VERA: Actually, a baby! And that’s what we celebrate at Christmas—the birth of Jesus, the Savior of the world!
DALTON CLYDE: Wow! That kinda blows my mind!
REVEREND: I know. It’s a wonder of wonders!
NETTIE ZELMA: What on earth?
VERA: What? Is something wrong?
NETTIE ZELMA: Looks like a snake!  the process, REVEREnd:  Oh! It’s Buford!
NETTIE ZELMA: It  a snake! Run for it, Dalton Clyde!
DALTON CLYDE: I’m right behind ya, Nettie Zelma!
Day 2 Drama
CHARACTERS: DALTON CLYDE, NETTIE ZELMA, MARSHAL, REVEREND, VERA
DALTON CLYDE: Beautiful morning, ain’t it! 
DALTON CLYDE:What’re you yawning about? Didn’t ya sleep good last night?
NETTIE ZELMA:  Well, after that near-death experience yesterday and the fact that we were basically sleepin’ in that snake’s home, I reckon I didn’t get more than a couple hours. Gimme rats and mice any day . . . they don’t bother me none, but reptiles . . . that’s a different story!
DALTON CLYDE: Says the grown woman who shrieked her little lungs ragged when she found a nest of field mice in her fancy boots!
NETTIE ZELMA:  Watch it, bub. I ain’t never seen you happy to see a rodent hangin’ around your fancy garments! But never mind that. After our first bank heist, we’ll be rollin’ in enough dough to buy more fancy clothes than any critters can ruin! This is the best opportunity we’ve ever had, and it’s right in front of our noses!
DALTON CLYDE:  You really think so?
NETTIE ZELMA: O’course I do! It’s gonna fix all our problems! You’ll see. Why? Are you gettin’ cold feet on me, Dalton Clyde? You ain’t a yellow-belly, are ya?
DALTON CLYDE: No, I ain’t no coward, Nettie Zelma. You know that. I’m jus’ havin’ what ya might call a . . . a twinge o’ conscience. It jus’ don’t feel right this time.
NETTIE ZELMA:  Well, maybe you need to lie down ’til the feelin’ goes away! 
VERA: So, you must be Marshal Metcalf. My father’s the reverend. Said he met you yesterday.
MARSHAL: (startled) Uh, yes, ma’am. He sure did.
VERA: I’m Vera, by the way.
Marshal: Pleased to meet you, Miss Vera. (tips his hat)
VERA: So, did you catch those criminals you were lookin’ for?
MARSHAL: Not yet. But don’t you worry, I will. And it won’t take long, either.
VERA: Well then, I better let you get back to enforcin’ the law.
MARSHAl: Yes, ma’am. An’ be sure to let me know if you see anything suspicious, okay? It’s always best to leave it to us professionals.
VERA:Okay, Marshal. Will do. 
MARSHAl: (tries to save face) I was eatin’ one of them powdered donuts, that’s all!  
MARSHAL: Howdy, folks. It sure is a beautiful day, isn’t it?
DALTON CLYDE:He speak to us, Polina?
NETTIE ZELMA:  Yes! To us.
MARSHAL:Uh, can I ask you a question?
DALTON CLYDE: What question?
MARSHAL: Well, it just so happened that a pair of criminals popped into town the other day, and I’ve been lookin’ for ’em.  Have you seen ’em around?
DALTON CLYDE: Hmm. Not seen them. Is that two men in picture? 
NETTIE ZELMA:  No, Nikolai! That is most definitely woman. Not man. Perhaps you need to see physician to craft you spectacles!
MARSHAL: Well, I declare.  You done lost your hair! You feelin’ all right?
DALTON CLYDE:  Nettie?
NETTIE ZELMA: Is fine, Marshal. I will get him home to bed. Nothing a good pot of soup can’t fix, eh?  Have a good day! 
MARSHAL:  Poor fella. Hope he’s okay. I better be goin’.  
VERA: See ya, Marshal. 
VERA: Well, Flora Ellen, it’s jus’ you an’ me.

VERA:What?I know you’re often right about things. So what?
VERA:  Good night, Flora Ellen, why would you say such a thing? Those out-of-towners weren’t strange at all! They’re jus’ from a different country. Mind your manners!
VERA:  Why, FLORA ELLEN!
REVEREND: There you are! I’ve been lookin’ for you.  Is that Flora Ellen?
VERA: Yes, and she’s fixin’ to start a fight, so I figured I’d better give her some time to think about what she said.
REVEREND: Sounds like you’ve got the situation under control. Unfortunately, that’s not the case at home right now. Darnell got himself into quite a pickle.
VERA:  What has that rascal roadrunner done now?
REVEREND: Well, seems like he saw his reflection in the window and didn’t quite like what he saw. And now there’s shattered glass all over the place.
VERA:  Darnell. I’m gonna have to give him a talkin’ to when I get home.
REVEREND: Why, it’s Dalton Clyde and Nettie Zelma! How’d you sleep last night?
DALTON CLYDE: Jus’ fine, Reverend. Thank you fer yer hospitality.
VERA: Say, were you two just here a little bit ago? NETTIE ZELMA:  Uh . . . no, that was someone else.
VERA:  Flora Ellen! What did I tell you earlier?
REVEREND: I just wanted to apologize for the snake incident yesterday. 
VERA: Yeah, somehow Buford got out of his cage, but it won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.
DALTON CLYDE: That’s all right. It may have been a close shave, but we survived, didn’t we, Nettie Zelma?
NETTIE ZELMA: If you say so, Dalton Clyde.
REVEREND: Well anyway, it caused an abrupt ending to our conversation which we’d like to continue if that’s okay . . . the one about Jesus, I mean.
NETTIE ZELMA:  Sorry, Reverend. I don’t reckon we have much time for that today. 
DALTON CLYDE: Aw, hush up, Nettie Zelma. I wanna hear what he has to say!
NETTIE ZELMA: But we ain’t got time for this!
DALTON CLYDE: Oh, simmer down! Whatever’s on that agenda of yours can wait a spell!  Sorry, y’all. She can get madder than a wet hen sometimes!
VERA:  Calm down, Flora Ellen! He didn’t mean anything by it!
REVEREND: Okay, now where were we?
DALTON CLYDE: I think we were talkin’ about Jesus bein’ a baby.
REVEREND: Oh, that’s right. But, of course, he didn’t stay that way! He grew into a kid—a kid who was like all other kids in some ways, but also a kid who was totally different.
DALTON CLYDE:  Huh? 
REVEREND: Let me explain. When Jesus was a boy, he needed to eat, just like you. He got tired, just like you. He got sad sometimes, just like you, but was often happy too, just like you.
DALTON CLYDE: And this is that same Jesus who made the universe?
Vera: Absolutely! Amazing, isn’t it?
Reverend: It sure is! He also had parents who loved him and taught him all kinds of things. And he had brothers and sisters too.
Nettie zelma: Well, I could tell you a thing or two about annoying younger brothers. Reverend: But the amazing thing is Jesus never fought or got annoyed with his brothers and sisters. He never disobeyed his parents. He never lied or complained or had a bad attitude. In fact, he never, ever did anything wrong. 
DALTON CLYDE: Ever?
REVEREND: Never! Can you imagine that— always doing the right thing?
NETTIE ZELMA: Ha! Not hardly! REVEREND: And that’s because he wasn’t only a kid, he was also God! Fully human and fully God.
Dalton Clyde: Wow! That’s makin’ my brain hurt.
Reverend: I know! Only God knows exactly how it works, but it’s a wonder for sure!
VERA:What? Are you kiddin’ me?
REVEREND: What’s wrong?
VERA: Oh, Darnell’s up to no good again! Don’t ask me how she knows it, but she does. Sorry, folks, but I gotta tend to a naughty roadrunner right now. C’mon, Flora Ellen.  
REVEREND: It still boggles my mind how she’s able to understand that chicken. Flora Ellen doesn’t enunciate well enough for me.
NETTIE ZELMA: Uh, Reverend, Dalton Clyde and I were wondering if it’d be all right to impose on your kind hospitality a bit longer. 
DALTON CLYDE:  We were?
REVEREND: Well, I suppose so. But you gotta promise me something.
NETTIE ZELMA: Whatever you want, Reverend.
REVEREND: Remember the chores I mentioned ealier? 
NETTIE ZELMA: Yeah, I reckon.
REVEREND: Well, I may need a little help at the schoolhouse. We’re tryin’ to get it ready for our new teacher, and it’s in need of some repairs.  Oh, and one more thing . . . make sure you behave yourselves. I don’t want any trouble finding its way under my roof. (shakes his finger at the two bandits) 
NETTIE ZELMA: I dunno what yer talkin’ about, Rev—
DALTON CLYDE:  We have ourselves a gentleman’s accord, sir!
REVEREND:  Very good. Now, here in Wonder Junction, whenever two parties agree on something, we have a special tradition. Dalton Clyde, come on over here, and I’ll show you how it’s done. It might take you a few minutes to catch on.
DALTON CLYDE: Whadaya doin’? We ain’t finished!
NETTIE ZELMA: Sorry, Reverend! Gotta go!
REVEREND: Strange folks. I’m not sure this is gonna end well.
Day 3 Drama
CHARACTERS: DALTON CLYDE, NETTIE ZELMA, MARSHAL, REVEREND, VERA
REVEREND:For unto us a child is born . . . unto us . . . a Son is given . . . unto us . . . a Son is given . . . and the government shall be upon his shoulder . . . ” (or, instead of singing, simply recite Isaiah 9:6)
MARSHAL:Reverend, is there anything you don’t do around here? 
REVEREND:Yeah, well, the school’s been looking a little rough around the edges lately, and we thought it’d be nice to clean it up a bit for our new teacher.
MARSHAL:Good idea.By the way, did the rattlesnake ever turn up?
REVEREND:Yep. As a matter of fact, we found Buford wrapped around the base of that table right there. 
MARSHAL:Really?Wrapped around the base, huh? Wow, guess I’m gonna have to be more careful when I sit down at a table from now on.
REVEREND: Any progress in finding the bandits?
MARSHAL: Not yet. But I know they’re here. I can feel it my bones! 
REVEREND: (to himself) The only thing I feel in my bones is aches and pains.
MARSHAL: Well, I better get back to work. Those bandits aren’t gonna catch themselves! See ya later.
REVEREND: See you, Marshal.
REVEREND: Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. John chapter 21, verse 25. 
VERA: I knew I’d find you here painting and working on your memory verses.
REVEREND: I wanted to get an early start before the sun gets too hot. 
VERA: Good idea. I brought you some warm muffins. REVEREND: Aww! Thanks, Vera. So, when does the new teacher arrive? Miss Griggs, isn’t it?
VERA: That’s right. Winnie Griggs. Actually, she arrived on the train yesterday . . . all the way from Kentucky. You know, I think the kids are gonna love her!
REVEREND: I hope so. A good teacher is worth her weight in gold!
VERA: I agree! Now, if we can just find a sheriff. 
REVEREND: Yeah, but at least the Marshal’s here. I just hope he stays through the jamboree.  So, have you seen our guests this morning?
VERA: No, I haven’t. I think they were up early as well.
REVEREND: Hmm. I was hoping they could help me with a few chores inside. 
VERA: Of course! Want me to fetch ’em?
REVEREND: Would you? You know what they say, “Many hands make light work.”
VERA: I’m on my way, Pa!
REVEREND:Hmm . . . not too shabby. It’ll do for now, anyway. Let’s see what the back door looks like. 
NETTIE ZELMA:  Wheeeuww! It’s gonna be a hot one.
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, I could sure use one of them tall glasses of lemonade right now. 
NETTIE ZELMA:Hmm . . . where could they be?
DALTON CLYDE: What was that? 
NETTIE ZELMA: Huh? Did you say somethin’?
DALTON CLYDE: Never mind.  You know, it may surprise you, Nettie Zelma, but I wonder about things sometimes. Things like do dogs lick us ’cause they know we got bones inside? Or how does a sponge hold water when it’s full o’ holes? I reckon we’ll never know. 
DALTON CLYDE:  Hey, wanna hear a joke? It’s a humdinger! You ready? Here it is . . . Why do cowboys ride horses?  Give up? Because they’re too heavy to carry! Get it?NETTIE ZELMA: Would you hush up, Dalton Clyde! 
DALTON CLYDE: All right! All right! NETTIE ZELMA: Oh, for cryin’ out loud! Can’t you see I’m tryin’ to think?
DALTON CLYDE: About what, Nettie Zelma? Why on earth are we out here in the middle of the desert jus’ walkin’ around aimlessly? I’m sure it ain’t fer the exercise!
NETTIE ZELMA: No, it ain’t! I stashed some tools that we’ll be needin’ an’ I’m jus’ tryin’ to remember where I hid ’em, that’s all.  Wait a second! This looks kinda familiar.  Aha!
DALTON CLYDE: So, when did you have time to come all the way out here to stash tools?  Lockpicks, crowbars . . . dynamite? Hey, these ain’t tools for chores, Nettie Zelma. These tools are for thievin’!
NETTIE ZELMA: What’s so surprisin’ about that? We’re thieves, remember?
DALTON CLYDE: Nettie Zelma, we can’t do this! We shook on it with the reverend. We made a gentleman’s accord! 
NETTIE ZELMA: No, we didn’t! I interrupted that cockamamie handshake, remember? So we ain’t breakin’ no oaths ’cuz we didn’t make no oaths!  You can thank me later.
DALTON CLYDE: But I don’t wanna break his trust! He’s been nothin’ but kind to us. He sees us as more than just worthless criminals. 
NETTIE ZELMA: O’ course he does . . . he’s a reverend.
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, but he’s also suspicious about us! You heard what he said, an’ here you are provin’ him right!
NETTIE ZELMA:  Oh, I knew you’d be hard-nosed about this, which is why you need to let me do the thinkin’, Dalton Clyde. Listen! Everyone’ll be busy during the jamboree, an’ no one’ll be guardin’ the bank ’cuz Wonder Junction ain’t got no sheriff right now. So, you see, this is the chance of a lifetime, and we can’t afford to pass it up! 
DALTON CLYDE: But what about the marshal?
NETTIE ZELMA: Oh, he don’t scare me none.
DALTON:  Well . . . I don’t know.
NETTIE ZELMA: Listen, if we pull this off, it can be our last heist. Then we can retire an’ settle down somewhere! I promise.
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, I wish I could believe that.
MARSHAL: Morning, folks. Havin’ a little disagreement over here?
DALTON CLYDE:  Uh, no, sir! Not really. Jus’ some verbal sparring with my sister.
MARSHAL:  Is that so? What’cha got there? NETTIE ZELMA:  Oh . . . uh . . . just a bag of tools, that’s all. Ain’t that right, Dalton Clyde?
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, that’s exactly right. Just a bag of tools.
MARSHAL: Tools for what?
NETTIE ZELMA: Oh . . . uh . . . well, you see . . . 
VERA: There you are! I’ve been lookin’ all over town for you two! Excuse me for interrupting, Marshal.
MARSHAL: That’s okay, Miss Vera. What can we do for you?
VERA: Well, Pa wanted me to fetch our friends here right away. He needs ’em for some chores he’s workin’ on at the schoolhouse. 
DALTON CLYDE: Chores!
NETTIE ZELMA: That’s right! Chores! That’s what the tools are for! 
DALTON CLYDE: (Ya see, Marshal? We got ourselves a crowbar for pryin’ shingles off the roof!  And then we have a . . . oh, uh . . . well . . . MARSHAL:  Looks like a stick of dynamite to me, son.
NETTIE ZELMA:  That’s right, Marshal. An’ it’s fer blowin’ up the junk pile—if it gets too big, o’ course. At least that’s how it’s done where we come from.
VERA: Yeah, well, I reckon those aren’t the kinda chores Pa had in mind. But, anyway,  Marshal, would you mind excusin’ the siblings? 
MARSHAL: Well, all right, Miss Vera. I know your pa is workin’ hard. 
VERA: Thanks, Marshal.
MARSHAL:I got my eye on you two!
DALTON CLYDE:  Little miss, you done squirreled us out of a mighty sticky situation. I dunno what the Marshal was gonna do, but it seemed like we was gonna get busted for somethin’!
VERA: And would the Marshal have had a reason to bust y’all? Were you doing something you shouldn’t be doing?
DALTON CLYDE:Uh . . . well . . . not exactly.
VERA: Listen, I dunno y’all very well or what your lives are like outside of Wonder Junction, but I do know that when I’m pulled into a situation where I’m tempted to do somethin’ that ain’t right, I think of Jesus. And because I love him, I want to live for him and do the right things. 
DALTON CLYDE: Jesus . . . that boy we were talkin’ about?
VERA: That’s right. But, of course, he didn’t stay a boy! He became a preacher of sorts and began an amazing ministry when he was around 30 years old. That’s about how old y’all are, right?
NETTIE ZELMA:  A lady never tells her age.
VERA: During his ministry, Jesus did many works and wonders that astonished everyone around him. Even his words were a wonder—after all, he’s the one who spoke the universe into existence! He wanted everyone to know there was only one true God—a God of love and holiness and power.  
DALTON CLYDE: I reckon Jesus, being God, could do some mighty powerful things! 
VERA: Yes, he could! He had power over sickness and disease. He opened the eyes of the blind, healed sick people who were on death’s doorstep, and even brought dead people back to life! He even brought himself back to life!
Nettie zelma:  How’d he do all that? Some kind of trick? 
VERA:  No trick—just God’s power! He also had power over nature. He spoke to a storm, and it stopped. He walked on water. And he fed more than 5,000 people with just five small loaves of bread and two fish . . . with food left over! (removes the basket from the table and looks knowingly at NETTIE ZELMA)
DALTON CLYDE: Wow! That’s incredible!
VERA: But the power I like to talk about the most is the power he has to forgive sins. When we disobey and sin, Jesus is the one who can and will forgive us, if we ask him to. Now, that’s a wonder! (offers DALTON CLYDE a muffin)
DALTON CLYDE: It sure is, Miss Vera. (takes the muffin) Thank you.
VERA: Well, I s’pose we’ve left Pa waiting long enough, but I hope I’ve given you something to think about. C’mon, let’s get you inside. 
NETTIE ZELMA: I gotta find me a way to reel Dalton Clyde back in. All this talk is fillin’ his mind with ideas that’re distractin’ him from our main objective!  Oh, why’d we have to cross paths with a reverend! Day 4 Drama
CHARACTERS: DALTON CLYDE, NETTIE ZELMA, MARSHAL, REVEREND, VERA, CALAMITY JACK, CALAMITY MACK
DALTON CLYDE: Iain’t never seen flowers quite like this before. They’re kinda flat-like Prob’ly don’t have to water ’em neither.
DALTON CLYDE: Whatcha thinkin’ about, Nettie Zelma? You ain’t said a word since we been out here.
NETTIE ZELMA: I’m thinkin’ that we got more important things to do than washin’ windows, sweepin’ floors, an’ . . . whatever you’re doin’ with those flowers.
DALTON CLYDE: Well, I dunno . . . I think this is kinda important. We’re helpin’ people. An’ that makes me feel good.
NETTIE ZELMA:  Whatever you say, Dalton Clyde.
DALTON CLYDE:  There, how does that look?
DALTON CLYDE: Well, I like it!
NETTIE ZELMA: I’m sure you do. Now, listen closely. Tomorrow, when the jamboree’s in full swing, we’ll sneak out of the festivities and back into town, where no one’ll be! Our thievin’ tools will be planted near the bank, and . . .   What? What’s wrong? 
DALTON CLYDE: Sorry,Nettie Zelma, but yer on yer own. I decided I ain’t gonna be part of it no more. 
NETTIE ZELMA: What? O’ course you are! Don’t be ridiculous!
DALTON CLYDE: I ain’t bein’ ridiculous, and I ain’t helpin’ ya rob the bank!
NETTIE ZELMA: Say, what’s gotten into you, Dalton Clyde? We’re bandits! It’s what we do an’ what we’ve always done—all the way back to great-grandpa, Cheatin’ Charlie! 
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, well, no disrespect to our ancestors, but maybe it’s time we do somethin’ more respectable fer a change! 
NETTIE ZELMA: I can’t believe I’m hearin’ this! So whadaya gonna do, huh? You got no job skills. Legal ones, anyways. 
DALTON CLYDE: That ain’t true. I got skills. 
NETTIE ZELMA: Like what?
DALTON CLYDE: Well . . .  I can fit 47 marshmallows in my mouth at the same time. Ain’t many folks can do that! 
NETTIE ZELMA: That ain’t a job skill. That’s just silly. 
DALTON CLYDE: Oh . . . an’ I can crack my knuckles to the tune of “Yankee Doodle. Wanna hear?
NETTIE ZELMA: No! I don’t wanna hear! 
DALTON CLYDE:Aw . . . c’mon!
NETTIE ZELMA: I said no!Now, you listen to me, Dalton Clyde. We got one more job to do, an’ you’re gonna help me do it . . . understand? 
REVEREND: So, how’s it going out here?
NETTIE ZELMA: I reckon we’re about finished, Reverend.
REVEREND: Okay.  Wow! Look at the flowers.
DALTON CLYDE: Oh, you like ’em?
REVEREND:  Uh . . . well . . . they’re interesting.
VERA: Oh! The flowers! I’m sorry. Those were for decoratin’ the inside.DALTON CLYDE:  The inside? Oh.
VERA:  What? That’s a terrible thing to say! Now, you apologize right now!  Flora Ellen? We’re waiting . . . 
VERA: There, that’s better.  She said she’s sorry for what she said about the flowers.
DALTON CLYDE: Aw, that’s all right. No hard feelings.
VERA:  Sorry. She found out we had fried chicken for supper last night, and she’s been in a mood ever since!
NETTIE ZELMA:  Well, this sure has been fun! Let’s do it again sometime real soon. DALTON CLYDE: Say, Reverend, I was meanin’ to ask you about the cross in there.
REVEREND: The big one on the wall?
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, how come ya got one in the school? I ain’t never seen a cross except in a church or on a grave. 
REVEREND: That’s because the school used to be the church. 
VERA: Yep! Until we built High Point Chapel up on the ridge.DALTON CLYDE: Oh, that makes sense. So, you want me to help ya take it down then . . . since it’s a school now? 
REVEREND: No, no. We decided to keep it right where it is because after all, God is the ultimate source of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. And we want the children to remember that.
DALTON CLYDE: But what does a cross got to do with it? I don’t understand.
NETTIE ZELMA:  That’s okay, Reverend. I’m sure you got much better things to do than answer my brother’s silly questions.  C’mon, let’s go. 
REVEREND:  No, it’s quite all right. I’d love to answer his question because it’s an important one. You see, the cross is all about Jesus, the one who holds the keys to wisdom, knowledge, and understanding . . . and also eternity.
NETTIE ZELMA:  This is startin’ to feel like an eternity.
REVEREND: Jesus came, lived a perfect life, then died on a cross and rose from the dead so we wouldn’t—
DALTON CLYDE: Wait. You said he died and then came back to life? Did I hear that right?
REVEREND: Yes, he died, was buried in a tomb, and then, on the third day, he came back to life! It’s a wonder of wonders and proved that Jesus is who he said he is—the Son of God and Savior of the world. And he did it so we wouldn’t have to be separated from God for all eternity when we die. It’s truly the most glorious, wonderful gift ever given! 
DALTON CLYDE: Wow! But I’m sure it don’t apply to a good-for-nothin’ scoundrel like me.
Reverend: Oh, but you’re wrong, Dalton Clyde. You see, the reason Jesus died was not for his own sins, because he didn’t have any. He was totally pure and innocent. No, he died to pay the penalty for our sins because we’re all guilty . . .  every last one of us.
DALTON CLYDE: No matter what our sins are? 
VERA: That’s right . . . no matter what they are. It’s a wonder, isn’t it?
REVEREND: Have you heard about the two men who were crucified next to Jesus?
DALTON CLYDE: No.
REVEREND: According to the Bible, the day Jesus was put on that cross, two criminals were put on crosses as well—one on either side of him. And they talked to him while they hung there. One didn’t believe and mocked Jesus, but the other did believe and asked Jesus to remember him when he entered his kingdom.
DALTON CLYDE: And what’d Jesus say? 
Reverend: Jesus told him he’d be with him in paradise that very day.
DALTON CLYDE: (quietly) Wow! So, he saved him too, even though he was a criminal?
NETTIE ZELMA’s head snaps up in surprise.
VERA: He sure did. So, you see, to be in God’s forever family and go to heaven someday, you just need to turn from your sins and trust in Jesus’ forgiveness. 
DALTON CLYDE: That’s mighty powerful. I think I’m beginning to understand. 
DALTON CLYDE looks as if he’s close to tears in wonder and amazement. NETTIE ZELMA is beginning to look a little confused and conflicted. Then the MARSHAL suddenly enters the scene carrying handcuffs. NETTIE ZELMA and DALTON CLYDE freeze.
MARSHAL: Good afternoon.
REVEREND: Howdy, Marshal. Can I help you?
MARSHAL: I got some business here with the Bumblin’ Bandits.
REVEREND: What?
NETTIE ZELMA: I hate that name.
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, that ain’t our real name, Marshal.
MARSHAL: Never mind about that. Nettie Zelma and Dalton Clyde Doolittle, you are under arrest for robbing the Golden City bank. 
DALTON CLYDE: What?  What’s he talkin’ about?
REVEREND: Marshal, are you sure you have the right people?
MARSHAL: No doubt about it, Reverend. Didn’t think I’d figure it out, did you?
DALTON CLYDE: But, Marshal, we couldn’t have done it! 
NETTIE ZELMA: That’s right! We came in from Greentown down south. Besides, we ain’t never even been to Golden City—ever! 
DALTON CLYDE:  You gotta believe us, Marshal! We didn’t rob no bank!
MARSHAL: You expect me to trust the words of criminals? Now, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. What’s it gonna be? 
DALTON CLYDE:  I guess . . . the easy way. 
MARSHAL: That’s the right answer, boy. NETTIE ZELMA: Yer makin’ a mighty big mistake.
MARSHAL: Oh, I don’t think so.  All right, let’s go.  If you want to drop by for a visit, you know where we’ll be.
VERA: Flora Ellen! This is not the time nor place! 
REVEREND: I can’t believe they’re going to jail. 
VERA: Yeah . . . I mean, I know they were a little suspicious, but bank robbers? And to think they were sleepin’ in our barn!
REVEREND: But Dalton Clyde is so interested in learning about Jesus. I think his heart is changing . . . I really do.
VERA: We should pray.
REVEREND: Good idea. Dear heavenly Father, you gave us a command to tell others about your Son, Jesus. So please bless the words we’ve shared with Dalton Clyde and Nettie Zelma and make their hearts soft toward you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
VERA: Amen. Well, I reckon I better get home. I’ve still got pies to bake for the jamboree. REVEREND: Hey, don’t forget Buford.  Uh-oh.
VERA: What’s wrong?
REVEREND: No Buford. We’ve done it again.
VERA: Oh no! You mean I’VE done it again! This is not good, Pa! A rattlesnake on the loose with the jamboree starting tomorrow. And he could be anywhere; I’ve been all over town this afternoon.
REVEREND: Then we better start looking for him! You go that way, and I’ll go this way.
CALAMITY Jack: Wonder Junction. You know, I’ve always had a special place in my heart for this little town. 
CALAMITY MACK: An’ why’s that, Calamity Jack?
CALAMITY JACK: ’Cuz it’s where I got my start, Calamity Mack! Yes, siree! Stole my first piece o’ candy in that there general store. CALAMITY MACK: Really? Didja ever get caught?
CALAMITY Jack:Naw. An’ that’s when I decided that this is the life for me!
CALAMITY Mack: Wow! An’ now you’re a part of the Calamity Gang!
CALAMITY JACK: Yep! Meanest outlaws in the West!
CALAMITY MACK: That’s a beautiful story, right there, Calamity Jack!
CALAMITY JACK: That it is, Calamity Mack!
CALAMITY Mack: So, ya really think this bank’ll be easier than the one in Golden City?
CALAMITY jack: (with a big smile) Absolutely! ’Cuz Wonder Junction ain’t got no sheriff right now. (laughs) Why, it’s gonna be easier than fallin’ off a log!
CALAMITY mack: Yeah, but I just heard tell there’s a Marshal pokin’ around.
CALAMITY jack: Is that right? Hmm . . . then we’ll have to deal with him before we pay a visit to the bank. C’mon, the Calamity Gang’s got some plannin’ to do!
Day 5 Drama
CHARACTERS: DALTON CLYDE, NETTIE ZELMA, MARSHAL, REVEREND, VERA, CALAMITY JACK, CALAMITY MACK
DALTON CLYDE: So, what do we do?
NETTIE ZELMA: Whadaya mean, “What do we do?” We get outta here! This is our chance. 
DALTON CLYDE: But we can’t just leave. The Calamity Gang will rob the town blind!
NETTIE ZELMA: An’ what’re you gonna do about it? Take ’em on all by yerself? I don’t think so. C’mon! Let’s go!
DALTON CLYDE:  No, we gotta find the reverend and Miss Vera! They’ll know what to do!
NETTIE ZELMA: Are you outta yer mind, Dalton Clyde? You jus’ got sprung from jail! You think the reverend’s jus’ gonna look the other way? 
DALTON CLYDE: All I know is we’re wastin’ time. C’mon!
NETTIE ZELMA:I can’t believe we’re doin’ this! 
DALTON CLYDE: They ain’t here. 
NETTIE ZELMA: Okay, at least we tried. Now, let’s get outta here!
DALTON CLYDE: Maybe they’re still at the house.
NETTIE ZELMA: Dalton Clyde, that conscience of yours is gonna get us in trouble.
DALTON CLYDE: No, just the opposite. You’ll see. 
REVEREND: All hail the power of Jesus’ name! Let angels prostrate fall. Bring forth the royal diadem, and crown him Lord of all. Bring forth the royal diadem, and crown him Lord of all!” (or, instead of singing, recite Matthew 28:18–19)
VERA: Morning, Pa!
REVEREND: Oh, good morning, Vera.
VERA: Still no Buford?
REVEREND: No, I’m sorry to say.
VERA: What are we gonna do? He could turn up at the jamboree! 
REVEREND: I really doubt he could’ve gotten that far. No, I’m sure he’s still in town somewhere. We just need to keep our eyes peeled.
VERA: I just hate knowing there’s a rattler on the loose in Wonder Junction. What if he bites someone?
REVEREND: I don’t know, Vera. But I’m sure they’ll get a warning first. 
VERA: Yeah, that’s one good thing about rattlesnakes. 
REVEREND:  So, what do you think? VERA: Well, it’s lookin’ better, that’s for sure! You’re gonna remove the flowers though, aren’t you?
REVEREND: I don’t know.
VERA: What? Pa, you got to!
REVEREND: Dalton Clyde was excited about his “artistic display” and, well . . . I’d like to give him some encouragement.
VERA: But he’s in jail. He’s not gonna see it . . . but we sure will.
REVEREND: I understand. But you know, it’s kinda growing on me. 
VERA: You’re kidding.
REVEREND: And you know what, the kids  just might like it the way it is. They’re not just little adults, ya know. They think differently. And who knows, perhaps it’ll spark a conversation about flowers and creativity and God’s beautiful creation. 
VERA: Oh, it’ll spark a conversation, all right. No doubt about that! Well, I better get these pies delivered.
DALTON CLYDE: Reverend! Miss Vera! I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve been looking all over for ya. You gotta help us!
REVEREND: What’s wrong? 
VERA: And how’d you get out of jail?
NETTIE ZELMA: The Calamity Gang did it!
REVEREND and VERA: What?! 
VERA: The meanest outlaws in the West? That Calamity Gang? 
NETTIE ZELMA: That’s the one!
DALTON CLYDE: Yep . . . they burst into the sheriff’s office an’ tied up the marshal faster than a calf-ropin’ cowboy!
VERA and REVEREND: A calf-ropin’ cowboy?
DALTON CLYDE AND NETTie zelma: Yeah, a calf-ropin’ cowboy! 
Dalton clyde: Then they kicked us out and locked  in the jail cell instead! 
NETTIE ZELMA: An’ they threw away the key. So there was nothin’ we could do!
DALTON CLYDE: Hey, the schoolhouse is lookin’ real nice, by the way—especially the flowers!
NETTIE ZELMA: Focus, Dalton Clyde!
DALTON CLYDE: Right! Well, anyway, it was awful! They was braggin’ about robbin’ this and robbin’ that . . . an’ then they said they was gonna rob the bank here in Wonder Junction—just like they did in Golden City! 
NETTIE ZELMA: See! Told ya we didn’t do it. 
VERA: Pa, we gotta do something!
REVEREND: Right . . . first thing’s to get the marshal out. We’re gonna need him.
DALTON CLYDE: But how’re ya gonna do that?
REVEREND: I don’t know. We’ll figure something out.
VERA: Maybe there’s a spare key somewhere. 
REVEREND: Yeah, let’s hope so. C’mon . . . and be careful! 
Calamity MACK:  Haha! Man, that was way too easy. 
CALAMITY JACK: Yeah, our nasty reputation is really startin’ to pay off. Just mention Calamity Gang an’ everybody freezes!  So, didja get it all?
CALAMITY MACK: Yep, the only thing left in the bank vault is dust!
CALAMITY JACK: Good. Let’s count it.
CALAMITY MACK: Here? In broad daylight?
CALAMITY JACK: Sure! Why not? I don’t see nobody around, do you? 
CALAMITY MACK: Hmm . . . I guess everyone’s at that jamboree down the road.
CALAMITY JACK: An’ the marshal ain’t gonna bother us neither. 
CALAMITY MACK: Well, all right. Let me see what we got. Gold . . . cash . . . more cash . . . diamonds . . . rubies . . . a rattlesnake . . . sapphires . . . 
CALAMITY JACK: Wait! Did you say, “a rattlesnake”?
Calamity Mack:  Uh . . . I don’t know . . . did I? 
CALAMITY JACK: I think ya did. Check the bag again.
CALAMITY MACK: No sir! I ain’t lookin’ in there! You know me and snakes don’t get along—especially rattlers!
CALAMITY JACK:  Oh, all right, I’ll do it. Aaaaaaah! It’s a rattler! 
CALAMITY MACK:Suddenly, I don’t feel so good.
CALAMITY JACK: Well, that’s just great! Now what am I gonna do? (fans CALAMITY MACK with his hat)
MARSHAL:How ’bout go to jail?!
CALAMITY JACK:  Marshal? What’re you doin’ here?
MARSHAL: My job! And you’re under arrest for bank robbery in Golden City and Wonder Junction. Now, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. What’s it gonna be? 
CALAMITY JACK: Hmm . . . I guess . . . the hard way! DALTON CLYDE:Go ahead! We’ll guard this one.MARSHAL:Let’s go!
CALAMITY JACK:Rats! I reckon I made a wrong turn somewhere.
REVEREND: That you did, son . . . a long time ago.
MARSHAL:  And which Calamity are you, Mack or Jack? 
CALAMITY JACK: Calamity Jack . . . at your service. MARSHAL: Well, Calamity Jack, you may think this is just a game, but I’m sorry to tell you, the fun’s over. It’s time to pay the piper. Let’s go.
CALAMITY MACK:Where am I? 
MARSHAL:  You can get him up.CALAMITY MACK: Jack? What’s goin’ on? 
MARSHAL: You’re under arrest.  That’s what’s going on. The Calamity Gang is officially out of business!
CALAMITY JACK: Guess our luck ran out.
REVEREND: No. There’s no such thing as “luck,” boys. But there is a God, and I’d advise you to get right with him. Need help, Marshal?
MARSHAL: No thanks. I’ve got ’em.  But you can return the goods to the bank.
REVEREND: Okay, we’ll do that. 
VERA:Buford?  It is Buford! We found him! Oh, I’m so relieved. NETTIE ZELMA: Don’t she know that snakes bite?
VERA:  Oh, Pa . . . he’s lookin’ kinda thin and rubbery. I better get him home where he belongs!
REVEREND: Yeah, go on. But just remember to lock the cage door this time.
VERA: Don’t worry. He won’t get away again. I’ll make sure of it!
REVEREND:  Yeah, I’ve heard that before.
REVEREND: Well, you two . . . thanks for what you did. You could have taken the easy road and just run for it, but you didn’t. You chose to do the right thing.
REVEREND: And now a bank robbery was foiled, and the infamous Calamity Gang is in jail. Well done. 
DALTON CLYDE: Thanks, Reverend. We wouldn’ta done no different.
NETTIE ZELMA: Ya mean, YOU wouldn’ta done no different, Dalton Clyde. Truth is . . . if it’d been up to me, we woulda been long gone. 
REVEREND: I’m sorry to hear that, but I do appreciate your honesty.
NETTIE ZELMA: Yeah. But now I’m glad it wasn’t up to me.
REVEREND:  Really? Why’s that?
NETTIE ZELMA: I can’t explain it . . . maybe all this talk about Jesus is finally gettin’ through. An’ now I jus’ wanna hear more!
DALTON CLYDE: That makes two of us, Reverend!
REVEREND: Wow! Well, there’s so much more to tell. I think the last thing we talked about was Jesus dying and rising from the dead.
Dalton clyde: So, what happened next?
REVEREND: After he rose from the dead, Jesus appeared to many people, proving that he was alive. And he also gave his followers a job to do.
NETTIE ZELMA: What was it? 
REVEREND: To go tell the whole world about him.
DALTON CLYDE: The whole world? That’s a mighty big job, Reverend!
REVEREND: It is . . . and we’ve been doing it for the last 2,000 years!
NETTIE ZELMA: So, where’s Jesus now?
REVEREND: That’s a great question. The Bible says 40 days after he had risen from the dead, Jesus was with his followers. He was taken up into heaven right before their eyes until a cloud hid him from their sight. 
DALTON CLYDE:  Whoa! That musta been somethin’ to see! Wish I coulda been there!
REVEREND: It was a wonder of wonders, for sure! So, Nettie Zelma . . . to answer your question, Jesus is in heaven until he returns.
NETTIE ZELMA: Returns? So, he’s comin’ back?
REVEREND: Absolutely! We don’t know when, but someday Jesus is gonna come back, and everyone will see him. Then he’s gonna right all wrongs and set up his eternal kingdom. Those who love him and are in his family will be with him forever and ever. And things will be so different . . . there’ll be no more crying, or pain, or disease, or death, and nothing bad will ever happen again! It’s gonna be wonderful!
REVEREND: What is it?
NETTIE ZELMA: Reverend, my brother and I believe what you’re tellin’ us. We believe in Jesus, and we’re sorry for all the bad things we’ve done. 
DALTON CLYDE: Yeah, we want things to be different from now on. We want to be part of God’s family. 
NETTIE ZELMA: Just like you and Miss Vera.
REVEREND: I am so happy to hear that! It’s the BEST decision you could ever make! C’mon,  let’s get this back to the bank, and then we’ll go somewhere where we can open a Bible and pray.